Bleeding Ink

Lately, I have found myself writing more and more. Not only that but pursuing opportunities to share my writing. It is amazing what happens when you have those people in your life who nurture your passion and support you for who you are and not for who you could become. I have heard many times that I should be an engineer, an architect, a doctor, a lawyer, or even the president (in the 3rd grade, I do not recommend that suggestion). Although I enjoy the idea of designing my own home one day, my love has always been for writing. The way my thoughts bleed on paper is shocking to even me. Over and over, I tell people that it is not me but God who holds my pen. Sometimes I step in with a couple of themes when they come to mind, but the works that matter come from His inspiration. I have been blessed over the years with three particular friends. This past fall, I met one whom I am so very grateful God allowed me to call my sister, my kindred spirit. The other, I grew up with during my childhood years of 5-10 and I am proud to call her my best friend, my spy-wolf sister (she knows what that is). The third is a childhood friend who I have shared memories with and hope to share many more.

Each one of these three, God has placed in my life to show some particular aspect of His character: one, mercy and grace; another, kindness and compassion; and the third, loyalty and friendship. Each of them is necessary for my life, and I am so glad that God has let them become a blessing to me. Many of my friends, who I have not mentioned, have helped mold me as God has used them to support me along my life’s journey. Nonetheless, I have learned throughout my life – young as it is – that mankind is not to be relied upon for complete companionship. Many will stick by you, a few will drop off as you mature, and some will hang onto you like a friendly but annoying octopus. I am so grateful for those octopuses in my life.

During those times that I have realized the frailty of man, I have heard His tender voice, calling me to cling to my Saviour’s feet. I have learned that only He can uplift me, while never letting me down. The quote above describes the last two years of my life as I pursued my love of the written word. Writing down thoughts and lines only for His eyes and ears, He has helped me heal. He has brought me those amazing supportive octopuses from time to time. One thing I find interesting as I think back to each of the three, I never was looking for a friend. One I met in a library, another on the internet, and the last through a mutual friend. I appreciate each of these dear lives as they have been used by His hands for my growth and maturing. I have learned, with their help, to always be myself and to pursue God first. That’s the only time when everything falls into place.

Jesus never promised it would be easy, but that is the joyous part of it. Those storms and trials in our lives are only to force our roots deeper into the Rock. The wind may howl, but I serve a God whose voice calms the storms. As I bring my cares and struggles to Him, I can feel His peace. I am nowhere close to being a perfect Christian. Nor am I the perfect model for those who are younger than me whom I have been blessed to call sisters/best friends. However, I do promise that if you bring your cares and worries to Him, He will take the load. Nothing is too heavy for Him. He is waiting for you to bring your burdens. You have carried them long enough. As the lyrics of a song that is dear to my heart for many reasons say, “run to the Father“.

I've carried a burden for too long on my own
I wasn't created to bear it alone
I hear Your invitation to let it all go
I see it now, I'm laying it down
And I know that I need You
I run to the Father, I fall into grace
I'm done with the hiding, no reason to wait
My heart needs a surgeon, my soul needs a friend
So I'll run to the Father again and again and again and again

Run to Him. Friends mean everything in the world, but they are still human. Do not put your burden on them. Love them and care for them as they show you attributes of Christ, but do not expect them to be what only God can be. Pursue Him, beloved.

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